i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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