Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
babies were throwing up all over the place
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
