You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize