I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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