There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
