I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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