oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
