Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
