He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
