Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
