"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
