I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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