I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
