tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
