She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Boobs are out for the taking
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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