I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
third nipple confirmed
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
