I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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