I'm sorry my penis didn't work
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
is that a dick in a sweater?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
