I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
