Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
It's Friday. Sex?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
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