you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
