VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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