So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize