Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
