Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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