I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
