Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
