Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
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