was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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