he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
