I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
