I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
