the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize