Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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