I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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