Small penises have feelings too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
