we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Randomize