His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
