Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize