Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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