Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
