Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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