I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
