but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
