So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
