jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
