does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
