She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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