I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
