New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
