ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
