My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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