Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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