Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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