a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
