are you still at the devil's house?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
