Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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