he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
