i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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