We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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