she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize