marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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