roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
