She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
