I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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