can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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