around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
