So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
