What did we do last night that was yellow?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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