i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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