Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
