Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
