Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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