ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
