I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize