Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
